The Kitchen Conversation
by They're Watching You Too
Summary: Uryu hears Ichigo and Rukia having a strange conversation in the kitchen.


**Authoress Says: Really overused and cliche' theme going on here, but I couldn't resist!  
Rated: T because I find it very perverted.  
Warning: A lot of perviness. and I think there's a cuss word somewhere in here.  
Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, you would know. ;D**

**

* * *

**

Ishida Uryu hurried along the side walk as the wind began to blow. It was summer, yet a storm was coming through and it just so happened to bring cool weather with it. Uryu was not fond of cold weather, nor of storms. If only that idiot Ichigo had taken their science report home with him (because it _was_ his turn) he wouldn't be out here when a storm was on the way!

Of course, Uryu deserved it after "accidentally" getting permanent marker on Ichigo's school unifrom. And the permanent marker _just so happened_ to spell the word "Loser."

The black-haired teen growled as the poster in his hand quivered and trembled, the wind unforgivingly increasing it's strength. The poster threatened to unroll itself and snap the rubber band constraining it to a cylinder form.

Finally, Uryu arrived at the Kurosaki household. After a moment of debating with himself over whether or not to bang harshly on the door in an obnoxcious manner or to rap pleasantly, he went with the latter in case Ichigo's family was home. Yuzu answered.

"Hi Uryu," the young girl said, smiling and gesturing for the guest to come inside. "Ichigo and Rukia are in the kitchen."

As Uryu approached the kitchen, he heard Ichigo and Rukia murmuring to each other about one thing or the next. Considering there was no door to the kitchen, just an archway leading from the dining room, it was difficult for the teen to stay hidden, but he managed. He didn't want to end up caught in the crossfire the two conjured up again.

Surprisingly, Ichigo and Rukia sounded rather calm, no bantering back and forth... Just talking. Uryu was ready to present himself when he heard something spoken that was rather unusual.

"They're so soft..."

"I know," was heard from Ichigo. A pause, then "You shouldn't really be touching them so much."

"Why not? Does it bother you?"

"Kind of, yeah. If anyone found out..." Ichigo trailed off.

Uryu's eyes widened at the conversation between the two. He knew they probably had feelings for each other, sexual tension maybe, but why would they be doing this in the_ kitchen _for crying out loud? The room didn't even have a door! Anyone could just waltz on in while the two...

Uryu shuddered.

"Who cares? I'm just grazing my fingers over them."

"But some people don't want them being touched, even in the slightest of ways."

"Do _you_ care if they're touched?"

"Well, no..."

It seemed as if Ichigo was going to continue, but Rukia cut in with "And you're the only one who knows and will ever know, correct?"

"Yes..."

"Then it doesn't matter."

A sigh in defeat. Then "Fine, do whatever you want."

"Thank you, Ichigo-o-o-o," Rukia said teasingly, a grin in her voice.

Uryu had had about enough of this. He didn't care what the two did, he just didn't want to see it, nor hear it. And what would happen if Karin or Yuzu walked in?! How would Ichigo and Rukia explain themselves? He felt ashamed for them already.

Gathering up all the courage he could muster, Uryu took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and presented himself in the doorway to the kitchen. "Okay, stop what you're doing right now," he said, not loud enough to be heard outside the kitchen.

He heard "Huh?" And "Uryu, what're you doing here? You know it's going to storm soon."

That was not the answer he was expecting. He had been prepared for cursing, or shouting, or a plea to not tell anyone what he'd heard. But the answers that flew from Ichigo and Rukia's mouths' were much too casual for the position Uryu pictured them in.

He shuddered again. Such mental scarring...

"Uryu, why are your eyes closed?"

He mentally scoffed._ Why are my eyes closed? You know why. _"Because you two are disgusting to be doing this in a kitchen where there are other people near. For crying out loud, your sister is on the couch right outside the door, Ichigo."

"What _are_ you talking about?"

"Open your eyes, dumb ass."

"Bu--"

"Open your eyes! Jesus christ..." Ichigo continued.

Hesitantly, Uryu opened his eyes, expecting the worst.

Only to find Ichigo and Rukia, standing by the stove opposite the doorway he was in. Rukia was running her fingers over blobs of dough that were in a muffin pan while Ichigo looked plain annoyed.

"Wha..." Uryu started, but trailed off, shocked but completely releived.

"We're making dinner rolls that have to sit out for a few hours while the yeast expands," Rukia explained, completely clueless to Uryu's previous misunderstandings. She had yet to find out the perverted minds people had in the world of the living. "The dough is so soft, I just can't help but run my fingers over it a little bit." Her face radiated glee.

"A little bit?" Ichigo asked. "Rukia, please. You've been doing that for three minutes. Leave the poor dough be, you'll get finger prints and germs all over. Or at least, more than what you've already left."

Rukia's hand retreated and she glowered at her orange haired companion. "Come on, I wasn't doing it that long, was I?"

Ichigo's mouth opened to speak, but a loud clap of thunder stopped him. He looked over to the doorway Uryu had been in, attempting to see out the window past Uryu, yet he could see it clearly as the teen was no longer there to block his view. "Where'd he go?" Ichigo asked.

"Come back! You're getting soaked! You'll catch a cold!" Was heard from the living room. The two made their way towards Yuzu standing in the doorway, calling out to the storm raging outside.

When Ichigo poked his head out the door, he saw Uryu's retreating back, the teen hunched over as he trudged through the rain and wind. Despite the high volume of the weather, the orange haired teen swore he heard "Scarred for life... Never get nasty images out of my head... Knock myself out when I get home..."

Ichigo smirked. That'll teach Uryu to never mess with his school uniform again.


End file.
